Cross the road..Monkey

Que: Why did the monkey cross the road?

Ans: So he could get spanked.

Cross the road...Redneck

Que: Why did the redneck cross the road?

Ans: He wanted to sleep in the ditch on the other side.

Cross the road...Blind Blonde

Que: Why did the blind blonde cross the road?

Ans: She was following her seeing eye chicken...

Truthfulness

In his boyhood Hazrat Abdul Quadir Zillani was goin to Baghdad for education,On the eve of his departure from home his mother said to him, "My son,never tell a lie and don't get frightened in danger"Baghdad was far away from his home.He began his journey in the company of a band of merchants.The way was  infested with robber.After five days a gang of robbers fell upon the travelers.One of the robbers caught hold of the boy and searched him thoroughly for his belongings.He took away everything he got from the boy.Then he asked the boy, "Do you have anything else with you?" The boy replied, "Yes I've 40 dirhams with me."My mother sewed those dirhams inside my robe."The robber was astonished hearing this because if the boy had not disclosed the fact he would never have known about it.So,he took the boy to there leader and told everything.The leader also got astonished .He asked the boy, "Why have you disclosed the fact that you have 40 dirhams with you?" My mother told me never to tell a lie.Then how can I tell lies?" replied the boy.This event brought about a great change in life of the leader of the robbers as well as his followers.From that day they stopped doing all their bad works.

Funny Quotes

"There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot."      Steven Wright


"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years of training can, using only their hands and feet,Make some of the worst movies in the history of the world".    Dave Barry


"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers".     A Bit of Fry and Laurie


"Very Funny,Scotty.Now beam down my clothes".    Unknown Authors

"What is a committee?A group of the unwilling,Picked from the unfit,to do the unnecessary".  Mark Twain
 

The Eagle and Crow

"Anwaar-e-Suhaili is a well known Persian book.In it has been narrated a very thought provoking story:

Once a man saw a crow whose wings were cut.He thought, "poor thing,how is it going to survive?From where shall it get its food?"Hardly a moment had passed when that person spotted an eagle carrying some prey in its beak.The eagle came closer,Landed and fed the crow.

On seeing this the man though "this how Allah provides for his creatures,so why should I worry about earning a living.Allah will provide for me."So he sat down and remained idle.Some days passed but yet the person did not get anything.One wise man said to him "O servant of Allah,you were shown two birds,one injured crow and eagle.Why did you prefer to become like the crows?Why did you not think about becoming like the eagle who not only eats himself but also feeds others who are in need?

This story illustrates very well the real nature of 'Tawakkul'.If anyone has yet means of livelihood at his disposal,then he should not give up those means.His case is a like that of the eagle .He should not only fulfil his own needs but also look after others."

Taken from "the World within" by Mufti Muhammad Shafi(late grand mufti of Pakistan)

Burnt Toast(Islamic Story)

When I was a little Boy,I remember one day in particular when she had made breakfast.She must have been very tired.My mom placed a plat of eggs,and rather burned toast in front of my dad.I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed.Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast,smile at my mom, and ask me how was I ready for school.I don't remember what I replied,but I do remember watching him smear butter and jam on that toast and eat every bite!

When  I got up from the table,I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the toast.And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby, I love burned toast.'

Later that night ,I went to kiss Daddy and I asked him if he really liked his toast burned.He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Your Momma works hard day after day and she's real tired.And besides a little burnt toast never hurt anyone!'You know, life is full of imperfect things....and imperfect people.I'm not the best football player either.

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

We should learn to take the good,The bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of Allah.Because in the end,He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker!We could extend this to any relationship in fact - as understanding is the base of any relationship.Be it a husband-wife  or parent -child or friendship!!!!!!"

A Pond of Milk

Once there was a king who told some of his workers to dig a pond.Once the pond was dug ,the king made an announcement to his people saying that one person from each household has to bring a glass of milk during the night and pour it into the pond.So ,the pond should be full of milk by the morning.After receiving the order, everyone went home.One man prepared to take the milk during the night.He thought that since everyone will bring milk, he could just hide a glass of water and pour inside the pond .Because it will be dark at night,no one will notice.So he quickly went and poured the water in the pond and came back.In the morning,the king came to visit the pond  and to his surprise the pond was only filled with water!What has happened is that everyone was thinking like the other man that " I don't have to put the milk,someone else will do it."

Dear Friends,when it comes to help the Religion of Allah,do not think that others will take care of it.Rather ,it starts from you ,if you don't do it, no one else will do it.So ,change yourself to the way of Allah to serve Him and that will make the difference.