Cross the road..Monkey

Que: Why did the monkey cross the road?

Ans: So he could get spanked.

Cross the road...Redneck

Que: Why did the redneck cross the road?

Ans: He wanted to sleep in the ditch on the other side.

Cross the road...Blind Blonde

Que: Why did the blind blonde cross the road?

Ans: She was following her seeing eye chicken...

Truthfulness

In his boyhood Hazrat Abdul Quadir Zillani was goin to Baghdad for education,On the eve of his departure from home his mother said to him, "My son,never tell a lie and don't get frightened in danger"Baghdad was far away from his home.He began his journey in the company of a band of merchants.The way was  infested with robber.After five days a gang of robbers fell upon the travelers.One of the robbers caught hold of the boy and searched him thoroughly for his belongings.He took away everything he got from the boy.Then he asked the boy, "Do you have anything else with you?" The boy replied, "Yes I've 40 dirhams with me."My mother sewed those dirhams inside my robe."The robber was astonished hearing this because if the boy had not disclosed the fact he would never have known about it.So,he took the boy to there leader and told everything.The leader also got astonished .He asked the boy, "Why have you disclosed the fact that you have 40 dirhams with you?" My mother told me never to tell a lie.Then how can I tell lies?" replied the boy.This event brought about a great change in life of the leader of the robbers as well as his followers.From that day they stopped doing all their bad works.

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Valentine poem

Love may be beautiful,love may be bliss but I only slept with you,because I was pissed.I Thought that I could love no other until,that is ,I met your brother.
Roses are red ,violets are blue,sugar is sweet,and so are you.But the roses are wilting,the violets are dead,the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head,of loving beauty you float with grace If only you could hide your face.kind,intelligent ,loving and hot; This describes everything you are not.I want to feel your sweet embrace but don't take that paper bag off your face.I love your smile,your face,and your eyes Damn,I am good at telling lies!My darling, my lover,my beautiful wife : Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming .That's why I always wake up screaming.My love,you take my breath away.What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My fellings for you no words can tell,Except for maybe "go to hell".
what inspired this amorous rhyme?Two parts vodka,one part lime.

Two More "Dialog"Jokes
1
Jemmy : "I was born in California."
Rocky : "Which part?"
Jemmy: "All of me."

2
Jemmy : "Excuse me.Do you know the way to the zoo?"
Rocky : "No.I am sorry I don't."
Jemmy : "Well, it's two blocks this way,then one block to the left."

The Train are always late

A man was complaining to a railroad engineer.
What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The railroad engineer replied.
How would we know they were late,If we didn't have a schedule?